I Feel It

20.33 Dea Maesita 2 Comments


The hospitals’ smells, my little brother and his broken arm, accompany me wrote this posting in this morning.

Yea, I am free for a while from the hard routin activity: “wake up at 03.00 am and go to bed at 11.00 p.m” since the last two months. No more homework, IELTS scoring, and the tasks of IELTS preparation that make me headache. Actually I feel regret when I couldn’t attend the class. I really miss the class, but I have to keep my little brother in the hospital. I have responsibility as a good sister for him, and good daughter for my parents. Life is full of choices and I must make decision.

I was in Kediri five days ago, at that time, I really had a bad feeling. It made me could not focus in the class, even it was my favourite subject, Reading Class. I just silent all the time in the class, until my coach gave me time to speak in the end of the class.

My Mom would go to Mecca on couple of days later. Actually she has said on the phone that I should stay in Kediri and finished my English study. Yet, that morning my bad feeling became stronger. I attended the class at 7 a.m. The subject was Listening. I even could not understood what the speaker said. I opened my phone and searched for travel agents’ number to book the ticket, but the result said ZONK. Fortunately, my coach gave my class a break at 08.30 a.m. Directly I took my bike, and rode the bike fast to another travel agents that located not really far from my English School.

Finally I found the travel agents that provide the nearest schedule, that was 11 am. Lucky me, I felt so grate. Two hours to go, I even hadn’t prepare for everything. Also I hadn’t text my mother about that decision.

I sent her a message. I said that I really want to go home. At last, she had given her permission. After that, I prepared for everything and did not join the next class. My bag and all my things were still left at the class. I sent message to my friend to keep my things.

Two hours after I left Kediri, my mom called me on the phone. She said that my brother got an accident. He was fell down from the stairs in the school. I felt either upset and felt free of worry, because my bad feeling got the answer.

The trip was so hard on the road. There was a long traffic jam near Semarang because of “karambol accident”. I should arrive in Semarang at 6 o’clock, but in fact, I arrived at 09.30 in the night. The hard trip was not finished. After got out from the car, I must continue the trip by public bus to reach my home town. I thought how the way to stay safe in the bus station. I know that the time was almost in the middle of the night, and I was pretty alone. The negative thought about pickpockets and criminal persons was running in my mind. At the last, I sent a message to my ‘ex’. Feel kinda strange, but he helped me to stay safe in the public bus station. Errr I realize that I just took the advantage from him. Hehe, girl! You know what? I was the one and only girl in the bus station. It was unforgotable trip. Really tired after 12,5 hours trip on the road.

It was not the first time I suddenly went home because of bad feeling. Before it, when I still in the college, I ever suddenly went back to my home town. Shocked that I found my mother got a Chikungunya Fever at home.

Errrr I should be grateful that I had a good ability to feel something J but sometimes I feel annoyed of it. A strong feeling of melancholy person is always been the winner, isn’t it?



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